Dwarfism is evil evil evil.....
In these days when we make every effort (plus a little extra) to eradicate all traces of discrimination, one example is blatant in its refusal to appeal to the public conscience. Dwarfism. Lest be clear about something – dwarves can't help being short, not should they be discriminated against because of their height. After all, any form of discrimination is unacceptable.
A quick review of the political inroads made against people's natural urges to view others differently, even when they are different, shows how many battles have been fought and won by our left field intelligentsia.
There are still some battlefields to occupy. Thick-ism abounds for example; the quite unreasonable but popular view amongst employers that thick people are less deserving of work than clever people. One could reasonably make the point that thick people cannot help being thick any more than some disabled people can help having no legs, and that therefore discrimination is just as palpably wrong. Inroads have been made. Qualifications for all have resulted in employer confusion over an applicants true ability to perform such simple tasks as reading and writing. But the battle will not be truly won until it becomes as illegal to ask someone's qualifications on an application form, as it is to ask their age. Why should only the clever be allowed to become middle-class? Not only does it mean they earn more, but they also tend to live longer. So it can be seen that thick-ism is a pernicious discrimination which actually shortens peoples lives, and we need to re-educate people so that they become aware of the appalling cost to others of their blatant prejudices.
But for the purposes of this document – it's dwarfism we must be concerned about. Dwarves are discriminated against. Not only do they have fewer career opportunities, but even existing within the broader community throws up challenges. This particular minority is woefully under-represented in the Police force for example and we should urge our constabularies to adopt measures of positive discrimination, reserving 0.5% of their jobs for those amongst us who are vertically challenged. Whilst they may not be able to run as fast when catching burglars, we can compensate by setting different speed targets for those with shorter legs so that they may equally qualify for these important community jobs.
A consultation process recently undertaken with 500 vertically challenged citizens, revealed a disturbing level of anger within this community. Some object strongly to being 'talked down to' because it makes them feel inferior for being short, whilst others object to people addressing a space 18 inches above their heads because they feel such painful attempts at non-discrimination are in themselves discriminatory. After all, most other citizens do not have to suffer this indignity. However, short of making the word 'short' politically unacceptable and forcing all people over the height of 5'6” to kneel when addressing a dwarf (and pretending they're just tying their shoelaces), its hard to see a resolution here. Perhaps more consultation and discussion is needed.
In the meantime, there are real and practical steps we can take to avoid discriminating against those fellow citizens who, through no fault of their own, are vertically challenged.
Step 1. Abolish steps.
Step 2. Make it illegal to refuse employment on the grounds of height. Instead we can make it mandatory for all employers of more than 100 to stock at least one pair of stilts.
Step 3. Make it illegal for any shop to offer any goods for sale on shelving higher than 3'6”. Top shelf magazines present an issue though. Balancing the rights of dwarfs to read such material without having to ask for assistance to reach it, with the rights of some women not to be made to feel inferior by the close-up portrayal of delectably formed female bodies, could present problems. Someone is simply going to have to give up their right not-to-be-offended here.
Step 4. Guaranteed fast-track processing through industrial tribunals, with some high profile compensation awards. Ideally we should look for a sixty-four year old Muslim lesbian mentally-ill black dwarf single mum with no qualifications and only has one leg, who would've accepted the job as an airline pilot, had it been offered, if it wasn't for the fact that the interviewer looked at her with what she took to be a sexy leer and called her 'darling'. But who is convinced she was refused employment because of her height.
Ministry of Silly Walks
Whitehall
London.
(Closed circulation)
A quick review of the political inroads made against people's natural urges to view others differently, even when they are different, shows how many battles have been fought and won by our left field intelligentsia.
There are still some battlefields to occupy. Thick-ism abounds for example; the quite unreasonable but popular view amongst employers that thick people are less deserving of work than clever people. One could reasonably make the point that thick people cannot help being thick any more than some disabled people can help having no legs, and that therefore discrimination is just as palpably wrong. Inroads have been made. Qualifications for all have resulted in employer confusion over an applicants true ability to perform such simple tasks as reading and writing. But the battle will not be truly won until it becomes as illegal to ask someone's qualifications on an application form, as it is to ask their age. Why should only the clever be allowed to become middle-class? Not only does it mean they earn more, but they also tend to live longer. So it can be seen that thick-ism is a pernicious discrimination which actually shortens peoples lives, and we need to re-educate people so that they become aware of the appalling cost to others of their blatant prejudices.
But for the purposes of this document – it's dwarfism we must be concerned about. Dwarves are discriminated against. Not only do they have fewer career opportunities, but even existing within the broader community throws up challenges. This particular minority is woefully under-represented in the Police force for example and we should urge our constabularies to adopt measures of positive discrimination, reserving 0.5% of their jobs for those amongst us who are vertically challenged. Whilst they may not be able to run as fast when catching burglars, we can compensate by setting different speed targets for those with shorter legs so that they may equally qualify for these important community jobs.
A consultation process recently undertaken with 500 vertically challenged citizens, revealed a disturbing level of anger within this community. Some object strongly to being 'talked down to' because it makes them feel inferior for being short, whilst others object to people addressing a space 18 inches above their heads because they feel such painful attempts at non-discrimination are in themselves discriminatory. After all, most other citizens do not have to suffer this indignity. However, short of making the word 'short' politically unacceptable and forcing all people over the height of 5'6” to kneel when addressing a dwarf (and pretending they're just tying their shoelaces), its hard to see a resolution here. Perhaps more consultation and discussion is needed.
In the meantime, there are real and practical steps we can take to avoid discriminating against those fellow citizens who, through no fault of their own, are vertically challenged.
Step 1. Abolish steps.
Step 2. Make it illegal to refuse employment on the grounds of height. Instead we can make it mandatory for all employers of more than 100 to stock at least one pair of stilts.
Step 3. Make it illegal for any shop to offer any goods for sale on shelving higher than 3'6”. Top shelf magazines present an issue though. Balancing the rights of dwarfs to read such material without having to ask for assistance to reach it, with the rights of some women not to be made to feel inferior by the close-up portrayal of delectably formed female bodies, could present problems. Someone is simply going to have to give up their right not-to-be-offended here.
Step 4. Guaranteed fast-track processing through industrial tribunals, with some high profile compensation awards. Ideally we should look for a sixty-four year old Muslim lesbian mentally-ill black dwarf single mum with no qualifications and only has one leg, who would've accepted the job as an airline pilot, had it been offered, if it wasn't for the fact that the interviewer looked at her with what she took to be a sexy leer and called her 'darling'. But who is convinced she was refused employment because of her height.
Ministry of Silly Walks
Whitehall
London.
(Closed circulation)
posted by PaganDiver at 9:07 AM
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